Monday, March 22, 2010

I need to calm down

This past weekend was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. I had to do an outline for my Appellate Brief that is due 4/12, but when i went to do it, i realized I had completely missed what I was supposed to find for the case. I was a mess. I really thought that I had prepared well, but when it came time to put pen to paper......or at least finger to keyboard, I had nothing. I panicked. I started walking around, like i wanted to leave. Like i wanted to run away from my outline. Like it wouldn't be there when I came back. Even right now, i am TERRIFIED. I am breathing hard, and I want to scream! But i can't.

I've been talking to a counselor, and through that I've realized I avoid problems alot. I avoid and I run. I can't do that anymore. I need to work hard. I need to stay strong. I need to fight. I NEED TO FIGHT EVERY INCH OF THE WAY!

When this semester end, I will hopefully have a job with Brad Micklin waiting for me, but if I do not, I will send my resume out to places all over NJ and work at Bonefish. I also need to start dating and being more confident in myself.

I know you can do it

Rich